My Waterloo

i shiver uncontrollably
in spite of the palpable heat
my heart could not find peace

my calm exterior belies their eyes
for inside is a fragile being
that threatens to shatter any moment
fear has it by the throat
its slender fingers wound tight
i could scarcely breathe

a minute that flew past
was like an hour of muffled agony
tears were blinked back
pleas were swallowed hard
atrophy creeps into my body
for fear has rendered me paralyzed

i gave in as soon as i choked
kissed and made love with cold Death
no one would save me anyway
i would not even save myself

Death over Life

i hear the somber bells toll
summoning my languid body
dearly beloved Death
is beseeching me once more
must i heed his loving call?

his bony hand snakes around my wrist
beckoning me to his realm
must i take a step forward?
his scythe poised around my neck
teasing me with its treacherous blade
must i pull myself closer and have it pierce me?

i set my blank oculus
to the weary life of the world
trying to muster even a shred of sympathy
but came upon to nothing

i gaze back to Death's face
clutch his beguiling scythe
& begin to hack myself
until my blood poured out
of this hollow shell

Invalid

i stand naked and immobile
in the midst of a bustling crowd
with forlorn eyes and a twisted mouth

despite the obvious stream of mankind
i hear only an empty echo
deep within the recesses of my heart
i sense the surging saline waters
forming in the corners of my eyes
i feel like an abysmal void
in place of a supposed human being

i can be no more different
to a single stray lamppost
on a dark and deserted alley
with its light bulb shattered
its body bent out of shape
no longer serving its purpose

Free Fall to Arcadia

as i jump off a cliff
eyes shut tight
arms wide open
a grin spread on my face
like black plague over the people
i anticipate the moment
when i hit the jagged rocks
like an addict waiting for a fix

in a split second
i hear my bones get crushed
feel immense pain rage into my body
then it was all over
a peace settles around me
& there i was
broken beyond recognition
but the smile lingered on