Of Stars and Supernovas

Gazing up to the midnight blue
Of the darkened skies
A makeshift paradigm of my life
Is spattered across like lines torn
From the pages of my fairy tale

Comets that sped past once in a lifetime
Asteroids that crash into me and take a huge chunk off me
Shooting stars that were out of my reach
Falling stars that were burning at my feet
Supernovas that die in an instant
Each surfacing into an abysmal black hole
That attempts to devoid me of my sanity

Though delirious with its cosmic intricacy
Fascination lingers like a whore’s cheap perfume
On a philanderer’s wardrobe
It tells of its evil yet the more it lures you

The black holes may have found its homage
In the abscesses of my anorexic heart
But I’d rather have fallen stars and supernovas
Than be anchored to solitude

Pipe Dreams on Rainy Days

Lightning strikes the ground
Thunder echoes across the land
As heaven sends down the tears denied
To comfort the poor mortal that was I

My heart beats ecstatic
As I kiss the deluge of rain
For here I could make believe
Let go and allow myself to pretend
In a few measly moments
I would be drenched with fairy magic
The one that transports me to him

People may shake their heads
In disbelief and in disgust
To behold such a livid spectacle
Of a happily plastered girl soaking wet

Though they will never know
Never bound to understand
Its unadorned mirth of illusion
Its unforgiving pain of reality
And how at the end of the day
I would give up anything
At the cost of losing sanity
For another minute more

Adulterated

I inhale the smoke
Permit its nicotine poison
Fill my weakened lungs
Hazy images blur my eye

I watch the world revolve
Happily in its twisted axis
Without me
Everything spins dizzyingly
And I am left staring like an idiot

I breathe in deeply
Ascertain that the poison entwines
Into my thinning blood

I light another cigarette
As one fizzles away
Delight in the thought
Of my stolen life minutes
From every intake
My life is draining out
I am not complaining

My Waterloo

i shiver uncontrollably
in spite of the palpable heat
my heart could not find peace

my calm exterior belies their eyes
for inside is a fragile being
that threatens to shatter any moment
fear has it by the throat
its slender fingers wound tight
i could scarcely breathe

a minute that flew past
was like an hour of muffled agony
tears were blinked back
pleas were swallowed hard
atrophy creeps into my body
for fear has rendered me paralyzed

i gave in as soon as i choked
kissed and made love with cold Death
no one would save me anyway
i would not even save myself

Death over Life

i hear the somber bells toll
summoning my languid body
dearly beloved Death
is beseeching me once more
must i heed his loving call?

his bony hand snakes around my wrist
beckoning me to his realm
must i take a step forward?
his scythe poised around my neck
teasing me with its treacherous blade
must i pull myself closer and have it pierce me?

i set my blank oculus
to the weary life of the world
trying to muster even a shred of sympathy
but came upon to nothing

i gaze back to Death's face
clutch his beguiling scythe
& begin to hack myself
until my blood poured out
of this hollow shell

Invalid

i stand naked and immobile
in the midst of a bustling crowd
with forlorn eyes and a twisted mouth

despite the obvious stream of mankind
i hear only an empty echo
deep within the recesses of my heart
i sense the surging saline waters
forming in the corners of my eyes
i feel like an abysmal void
in place of a supposed human being

i can be no more different
to a single stray lamppost
on a dark and deserted alley
with its light bulb shattered
its body bent out of shape
no longer serving its purpose

Free Fall to Arcadia

as i jump off a cliff
eyes shut tight
arms wide open
a grin spread on my face
like black plague over the people
i anticipate the moment
when i hit the jagged rocks
like an addict waiting for a fix

in a split second
i hear my bones get crushed
feel immense pain rage into my body
then it was all over
a peace settles around me
& there i was
broken beyond recognition
but the smile lingered on